So Unreal

I used to pretend like you're there at night, pillows by my side kept my sadness at bay. I wished you were still here for just one more day.
No body heat against my skin, so I plug in a heating pad so I can feel warmth emanate from where you used to lay. But I knew it wasn't you, so it just brought back memories of what I thought I needed.
That's why it's all so unreal.
Laundry all alone, and dinner just for one. I just knew the truth and pain had just begun.
Boy, I loved you something fierce, and you threw it all away.
Still, I kept praying to GOD because I knew that soon to come was a brighter day.
Yet, all of this is so unreal.
When I pulled up at night, I still looked for your car, then I realized that you were gone and sadness would take my breath away.
Promises not kept tear away at my heart. You're no longer here... what about til death do us part?
This is so unreal.
I used to feel like this is it. My life must be over. Yet, I still am here and it's already October.
God promised me he'd handle things and surely he did.
Never did I think that you I could forgive.
And it just doesn't seem real. In fact, it's surreal.
You left me scraping the bottom of the barrel, but GOD put me back on top.
So successful at all I do, now I can't be stopped.
So, go on and leave me now. I don't need you anyways.
GOD allowed me to fall and rise back to the top just so that I could eventually say...
"Yes, all of it was real and, because of GOD, pain I no more feel."

As I Am

Why can't you just accept me as I am?
My whole life, I've been poke and prodded, told that I'm not good enough, told what to do and who to become to be more acceptable to everyone else. But you say you love me.
So, why can't you just accept me as I am?
When I asked you what you liked about me, you told me you loved everything that I am. But you lied. You keep trying to changed things that make me ME and it really hurts my feelings.
But you still can't accept me as I am.
Why? Love does not judge, yet you're judging me. You don't like the way I dress. You don't like my type of fun. You don't even like my personality. I can tell because you keep trying to change it.
Maybe that's why you can't accept me as I am.
I'm not what you were looking for. You want a mini-me. Someone just like you, who does what you do and likes what you like. Well, that's not me. I'm sorry. I wish it was because I love you and never want you to go. But all I can be is ME.
So, Baby, just accept me as I am...